In the sunlight through stained glass
By the whisperings of hard-hearts,
Inside the sanctuary praying on bended knee
Much more aware of disgust in the air
Of fluttering glances and the judgement of strangers
Beating down the atmosphere
In chapel the gazes are the sun burning
Focused through convex lenses
On skin that always before was alabaster and pure

He brought me a ring
In the proper way on his knees
And with a flourish, a surprise, a trumpet.
Well rocky our path has been
And no doubt with others he's seen me
On this trip through guilt and affection

We're not talking of the fear
Of ending up propped up
At a bar all alone
And dependent on continuous
Trickle of gin, the fear of dirty sheets
Cohabited with a succession
Of beer-goggled, gurning,
failed romantics with too many chins

Needing to touch and be touched
And dulling those feelings
With calling in sick, daytime television
And sinking into a stupor,
Baked beans and marijuana.

No.

It's that they'll say
She fucked her share, never pushed out a tot,
Wasted away. And for sure
All those pairs of eyes,
As I'm kneeling, praying,
Strip me bare, stripe my skin –
Skinned to the bone before the congregation

It's more, in all seriousness,
The fear of forgiveness,
Of kindness descending despite
Not being worth it,
The gentle understanding
That seems to move mountains
And the love,
Above all
The fear
Of love

That's the reason for lashing
My stumped spar
To his prow,
Launching to an ocean
Guarded by knife-sharp reefs,
By leviathans patrolled deep.
This bitter-salt sea
Of infidelity, trysts,
Mislaid trusts.
Piling on guilt
To assuage the forgiveness,
Ploughing straight into
Waves like revêtements
And hoping to be emptied,
Like a Mary Celeste,
Of everything living.
We'll be the ghost ship.

So the sun does come in
And chooses illuminations -
Touches the bared head
And the hard-heart alike,
Dilutes the criticism,
The accusations and silence.
Me to my knees,
My man,
My husband to be,
Is by my side,
And slips his hand
Into mine
And the host dissolves
Between my lips.